Well my last pairing discussion had hits and misses for some of you, but I expected that when I decided to write about some of the fandom’s most-used pairings (and pairings I should use more for various reasons). This time around I want to discuss the oddballs, longshots, and just HUH? pairings to see what you all think.
- Arthur x Marina (with some Buster x Marina insights)
- Francine x Muffy
- Sue Ellen x Fern
- Binky x Boy
- Arthur x Buster
- Bitzi x Teacher
- Pal x Killer
- DW x Tibble/ Emily x Tibble
- Ladonna x Arthur
- Brain x Lydia
Warnings: Some language and sexual talk; PG-13/T rated discussion. Note that some pairings are slash/femslash.
Arthur x Marina
For starters, I’m at my internship writing this to give myself a break, but this pairing is rather tame compared to what I want to talk about later down the line. Somehow this pairing has become quite popular in the fandom, and I’ve seen several writers use it in their pieces. While one of mine got a review along the lines of “Huh, I never thought of that before,” the more you look at any Marina pairing, the more you want to see her get with someone in the group.
Arthur honestly isn’t my first choice. I think Buster x Marina actually works a little better because I feel like Marina really loves a good laugh, something Buster can really provide. But Arthur offers up a level of maturity that Marina needs, so that’s likely why people have commented more on this pairing than my Buster x Marina piece (I think it’s “Online Love,” which you can find here and on ff.net).
In all honesty, any pairings with Marina are kinda longshots because she’s a Mighty Mountain student during the show. The only reason they even know this kid seems to be through Prunella or perhaps sporting events. Otherwise they don’t see her, and we really haven’t seen her character since the gymnastics episode. So in order to get Marina together with anyone in the Lakewood crew, one has to do a little shifting. In my Buster x Marina piece, that was through online dating. With Arthur, I like to put them in the same school.
But once that obstacle is tackled, what next? I feel like Marina wants to be treated like everyone else, a common thing with anyone who has a disability. Who wants to be Wheels, you know? I feel like Arthur can do that for her. While the whole group could do this whole “seeing past the blindness” thing, I feel like Arthur is one of those compassionate types that Marina could really use.
The biggest issue with Marina and any of the Lakewood guys is maturity. Marina doesn’t mind a good laugh every now and again, but she needs to be with a guy who can mature as quickly as she has to. Being blind presents a whole new set of problems. She can’t be like me, aged 24 and still afraid to ask for the wifi password (both in public and in a family member’s house. I know, I’m pathetic). Marina has to ask for help, she has to take on responsibility, and, most importantly, she’ll have to mature faster to get her independence. Marina needs a guy who can grow with her, and I feel like Arthur has the greatest chance to do this. Buster is an only child (like me), and yeah, he’ll grow up when he’s ready unless Bitzi gets heavy-handed in his teen years. Arthur has two little sisters to look after. He’ll not only be protective of women, but being the oldest by a few years, he’ll really have to step up to help his parents as he gets older, and that builds character.
Probability of these two getting together: 30/70 because of the obstacles I mentioned. Pairing these two will take some sewing, as well as some chance. Because of that, I think they could only end up together 30% of the time, maybe 25% depending on how much you let these obstacles bother you. If you want pure sappy romance, this shouldn’t bother you in the least.
Probability of them staying together: 50/50. Let’s face it, being with someone with disabilities alone can be interesting enough. Add in how tough it can be to be a teenager in general, and yeah, I think these two have an even shot either way. I want to see them together, but I could see things break off. I don’t see their breakup being a bad one though. I think they’re both mature enough to break things off without a bunch of drama, but that’s up to you guys when you write the piece^__^
Francine x Muffy
I warned you guys we’re heading into left field a little, so let’s discuss these two. Sometimes people decide to play with some gay/lesbian pairings, and when they do, some of them dabble with this pairing.
To be honest, I’m not a fan. I don’t mind lesbianism or anything, but I just don’t see these two reaching this point, even when they enter their experimental teen/young adult years. I think this way for obvious reasons–you’ve got class differences, as well as two super head-strong women who don’t play games. Opposites attract for a reason, and these two girls are honestly the same side of different coins. Francine’s family might be working class while Muffy’s is upper class, but neither of these girls take crap from anyone, especially each other.
But I see the allure. Sometimes bringing together people like this can be explosive, so this is one of the ultimate smut pairings of the fandom. Bringing these two together is just *fireworks*, so yeah, I see why some of you go for it. What smut writer doesn’t want to see these two girls ripping off each other’s clothes?
I’m a realist though as TheUltimateCombo points out, so I want to look at this from a more practical standpoint. Sex is good and well, but I want to talk about the whole relationship, and I just don’t see how they’d end up together in the first place. Who would approach who? Would the other one agree? I just have a hard time picturing it, and fast-forwarding doesn’t help either. I’ve had these girls as roommates before, but roomies who are also dating? Hmm, I’m struggling to see how this wouldn’t be a bicker-fest. Muffy wants the dishes done this way, Francine wants the vacuuming done that way. I feel like it’d be constant fighting.
But to see this from a romantic standpoint, these two friends have already been through some serious things, so if they can stay together, it would be like dating your best friend. Even if they fight like cats and dogs, I can see their bond being strong and deep. I can see how this would be a sweet couple to admire once you look past the negatives. When I look at this pairing through this lens, I begin to see the allure…a little.
Probability of these two getting together: I honestly have no idea. Realist me: 20/80 because I just can’t see it. Romantic view: 50/50 because I just don’t know.
Probability of these two staying together: No matter how I look at it, I see this as an even 50/50 coin flip. They’re so different despite their bond, and I could see them break up immediately or stay together forever depending on how the coin lands.
Summary here: I’d love some insight from someone who has used this pairing or would use this pairing because Chrys don’t get it.
Sue Ellen x Fern
I’ve seen some people dabble here, and I think I’m one of them (I don’t remember though to be perfectly honest with you). Whether I’ve dabbled or not, I understand this pairing a lot more than Muffy and Francine. Fern and Sue Ellen have this “I’m different” air about them, and I could see them both turn out a little bi or lesbian. But would they end up together?
In my realist view, I see these two girls as the same yet very different. Yes, they’re both intelligent and bookish and good-looking (when they’re your type). But Sue Ellen seems to be more adventurous, despite them both having some degree of anxiety. Sue Ellen does well in coping with her own anxiety. In the graveyard episode, she whistles through, and I think that’s how she handles a lot of situation–she just does what she can to get through. I can see Fern being crippled by her anxiety for quite some time, and her depression problem that the series attempted to allude to could be an issue, though I can easily see Sue Ellen help her through it.
I think that’s how I see these two–two girls who nurture and love each other unconditionally. They can help each other through their problems, and I think they can bring out the best in each other.
But I can see a dark side to this. Sue Ellen might feel trapped if Fern isn’t as adventurous, and I could see her break her heart. But Fern could also be the heartbreaker in her older years. I mean, what does happen if Fern gets famous from her books? I could see her share her wealth with her lover, and I can see her travel and go on adventures with her love, but I can also see her letting the fame get to her head and ticking Sue Ellen off.
What I’m trying to say is that a breakup between these two could be volitile. These are two very intellectual people who think things through. If they decide to get dirty, feelings are going to get hurt, and I don’t foresee epic makeup sex in their future if this happens. No, I think when they’re done, they’re done, and they’ll go their separate ways for all of eternity.
Probability of these two getting together: 60/40. I think these girls really compliment each other, and as long as the other is okay with what could be considered a taboo relationship, I see things going well. But I don’t know if both would be for a bi/lesbian thing. I most often see Sue Ellen with boys, and I could see her be a little ugly if Fern approaches and she ain’t for that, you know? But I’d like to see them get together. I’m keeping my number realistic, but I’d love to make it like 80/20 and see what happens:D
Probability of these two staying together: This is tricky. As I said, I think when they’re done, they’ll both cross a line that they can’t erase. If they can just get through the rough patches, I think they’ll be fine. Because I’m stuck here, I’ll just say 50/50 and be done with it. I simply don’t know because there are just too many factors to look into.
Binky x Boy
Let’s throw some lighter fluid on this convo, shall we? We’ve discussed Binky’s possible homosexuality here and elsewhere, and we can all agree that him being gay because he wants to be a graceful ballerina is horse shit–if he’s gay, so be it; if he’s not, so be it.
But let’s play with this. What if Binky is gay? Who would he end up with?
I don’t want to predict anything here because why? I mean, just discussing this alone will get my point across. If Binky’s gay then so what? But let’s discuss it. Binky won’t be gay for the ballet thing or because he’s sensitive to his sister’s needs. No, he’ll be gay just because, just like every other homosexual/pansexual/heterosexual/what have you, We like what we like because we like it. End of discussion.
I feel like if Binky did decide to make this choice, he would want an intelligent guy who would complement him. I could honestly see him end up with a guy he meets through dance, probably a fellow ballet dancer that really understands what he goes through during performances. If he’s not a fellow dancer, he’s the brother of a dancer, a patron of the arts, etc. He’ll be someone who appreciates what Binky does.
Downside: Binky’s love of wrestling might through this person off. I’m not exactly high-class but I see wrestling to be some really lowbrow entertainment. I know it’s got a story and whatnot, and people get really into the different matchups, but I just don’t get it, and I see an artsy guy having the same problem. If Binky tries to discuss wrestling, I think he’ll really have to push the topic to help the person see some importance in it.
Who else could he end up with? Well, I can see Binky falling for a friend, not necessarily Rattles but maybe someone else. If Binky struggles with his sexuality, this might be a friend who’s also struggling. I don’t really see Binky accepting himself at first if he is gay, and I see him being a very cautious lover who goes close to home at first to see what he likes. Could he possibly end up with one of the Lakewood crew? Maybe. For humor purposes I think we all want him to end up with Brain (Binky and the Brain. I know most pairing names are shorter, but come on, it’s perfect:D), but whether that happens or not, I don’t know who an alternative would be here.
You all can probably tell I’m a little stuck here (that and this isn’t helping me pep up like I thought it would. Writing book reviews is tough, so I thought this would be better. Maybe/Maybenot). What do you all think? Given what we’re saying, who could Binky end up with, ballet OC, Lakewood crew, or High School OC?
Arthur x Buster
Let’s discuss a real pairing with some viability. Now, I don’t know who’s dabbled in this because I tend to avoid the M stuff and this is like THE ultimate smut pairing, but I have a piece started where these two come of age and realize they may or may not have feelings for each other. It’s not posted anywhere because it’s unfinished but yeah, I’ve thought about this a lot more than the other pairings here, so follow with me a little while.
I see this pairing as the ultimate “Do I love my best friend?” pairing that the fandom can offer. Muffy x Francine ain’t gonna give you this. No, we need these two, two guys who have a dependence on each other and see each other as life-long friends. Buster apparently left for a year and these two are still close, and while we know they can’t really work together from some recent episodes, I want to answer that what-if question of “What if I have feelings for my bestie?”
In my piece, I have these two accidentally walking down that path of sexual experimentation. They’re teens alone in a bedroom and something just comes up [oh my god I did not mean to do that o^^o], but nothing happens. So, what next? If these two decide to try things out on each other, can there be a relationship?
My answer? Yes. I haven’t dabbled with this pairing except that one time, but I think it has some viability because of how close they already are. These two are just kids right now, but I can picture them as teens or twenty-somethings living together as a couple. I can see them argue because Buster isn’t that clean and Arthur knows better than to let food rot in a container, but otherwise, I see them as a homely couple with lasting power–like Francine and Muffy, they’ve already been through so much together, but they aren’t as power hungry as the girls, so yeah, I see them having no problem overcoming any issues.
The biggest problem that would face this couple would be Arthur’s family. I really don’t see Thora or David approving this relationship, and Jane is 50/50. I think DW would find it to be gross, and who knows what Kate would think because she’s a baby? I see Bitzi being upset but content if her baby boy turned out gay, but Arthur would have a lot more obstacles. I could see him be closeted if he does turn out gay, and getting with his best friend from childhood would not be the way to go if this happens.
Probability of these two getting together: I’m giving this an even 50/50 because who knows if they’re even gay? If they are, who says they want each other? But if they are gay and want each other, cool, but again, I could see Arthur be reserved even if he does end up with homosexual feelings.
Probability of these two staying together: Again, 50/50. I could really see these two have lasting power because of how close they already are, but I could see problems come up as well. The romantic in me knows that if they get together, they’ll probably stay together, but I just don’t know, and keeping my odds at a coin flip will definitely help those of you reading this going “Huh? What? No, NO! What is wrong with this chick?” I’m bored at an internship, namely because I have to let my writing sit before I can touch it, and yeah, hi, how are you, guys? Hope you’re enjoying the discussion thus far^__^
Bitzi x Teacher
So we all know Bitzi is the divorced mother of Buster Baxter, but who is she going to end up with? I have some speculations, but these are oddballs I want to play with just for the OMG factor.
First off, let’s go more tame. What if Bitzi and Haney got together? They probably cross paths both because of Buster and any education stories that come through the paper, so what if romance blossoms? For one, I could see them date. Maybe it’s to dinner, a show, a school play, etc., but I can see them go on a date. Whether they have anything in common or not takes more analysis than I have in me right now, but yeah, I could see them try this relationship out.
Staying power? I don’t know. I feel like Haney isn’t as ready as Bitzi to do the whole dating thing (it’s my understanding that he’s a widow. Can someone help me with this??), and I don’t know how he would feel with her. I see Haney as a little frumpy, more inclined to stay in than go out, while Bitzi is just the opposite. She doesn’t mind a dinner at home maybe a few times a week, but she’d rather be out on the town. I don’t know if he can challenge her intellectually either. I mean, Haney isn’t an airhead, but I do think she’s above him.
Getting: 35/65–long-shot but there is still a chance
Staying: 50/50–I just can’t tell
What about BitziBurn? What if Bitzi started dating Mr. Ratburn? For one, I can hear Buster screaming and he’s not even real. I mean, omg, your strictist teacher dating your mom? OMG, No.
But let’s think about it. Mr. Ratburn is nice, he’s attractive (if you’re into that sort of thing), and he’s a sweetheart with good intentions. Because he’s so smart, they’re a match intellectually, and because of their positions, I think both are community-minded people who would love to help the world together.
The problem? Why is Mr. Ratburn single? I mean, we know his sister, but there is no mention of exes or a possible girlfriend/wife. He’s just Mr. Ratburn, and depending on why he’s single, I could see Bitzi be in for a wild ride.
Getting: 50/50. If Buster doesn’t demand she stop dating him so adamantly that they have to cut things off before the first date, I think they can get together just fine (though Buster won’t be happy for a long, long time)
Staying: Again 50/50, just keepin’ it real. For one, what is Mr. Ratburn’s issue? But two, he’s a nice guy that I can see Bitzi being very happy with. It could go either way.
Curveball time! SweetBitzi, aka Bitzi x Miss Sweetwater. I’ve thought about this one, namely in that “Let’s write a lesbo smut fest that could go very, very well” kinda way. I mean how hot would that be, two women in business suits clawing at each other as they get down to, well, business?
But let’s be practical here. Could this work? Well, the main thing here is that I think Miss Sweetwater’s at-work personality is nothing like her true self. That’s an act she puts on to please the kids, and it works. Be you a nice teacher or a strict teacher, she’s getting the concepts across too, making her students just as viable as fourth graders as Ratburn’s students.
At home, I see her liking music but without all that weird fudgeness, and I could see Bitzi appreciate her artsy ways. They’re both fun people, and if they decide to go this route, I could see them have a nice relationship (though, again, Buster would need therapy).
Getting: 40/60. I think Sweets would have to really convince Bitzi that she doesn’t need a psych visit because of all those fudge songs. Once they get to know each other, sure. But I’m not sure how they would cross paths, otherwise I’d flip the stats.
Staying: Hmm, tough one. 60/40. If they can get together, I can see them being good companions, but if they struggle in the beginning, I see them both calling off this experiment and getting away from each other.
And just to let you guys in on the Weird World of Chrys, I’ve been thinking of doing a piece where Bo and Bitzi decide to rekindle things, but we’ll see if that gets anywhere. In my currently project she’s one of those “Always getting an alert on those dating apps but never gets a decent date” types, and Bo is an 100% no-going-back guy, but the piece brings up the point that their divorce seemed tame compared to other breakups. So, what if they get back together? I want to write a piece like that, but if I inspire you all to write a piece like it, please don’t let me hold you back. Y’all should know by now my idea train is long and my writing time is super short, so take what you want and write it up. Let me know when you post it so I can –attempt– to give it a read.
Pal x Killer
This isn’t canon, and honestly most people don’t even think of pairing up the pets, but TheUltimateCombo does pair the pets, so I figured I’d discuss it here.
This is a couple with some options now that I think about it. They’d see each other fairly often because Pal is Arthur’s dog and Killer belongs to his grandmother. Cool, so they could get together. As for coupling? Well, dogs do sometimes have good friends, even if it’s not a sexual relationship. My dog was good buddies with my boyfriend’s cocker spaniel until he passed, and they were just BFF’s. Dogs are like that–they’re pack creatures who want buddies.
But could this be something more? I think TheUltimateCombo has a real point here. Personality-wise, they’re compatible. Killer can be skittish but Pal is nruturing. While they might both huddle under to ottoman during a thunderstorm, I see him being her protector. I also see him bringing her trinkets when he can, probably using Kate to help him hide flowers in her diaper or something (since it’s canon that the two are BFF’s and that they can talk to each other. Total Rugrats stuff but whatevs, I love that show too). I can see this being a romantic relationship whether puppies are made or not.
The downside is that Killer tends to stay home, and I don’t know if Pal goes on visits to Thora’s house with the family. This is an easy obstacle to overcome in your fanfics, but I have to get real (I know, I’m sorry). Also, I think there’s an age difference in the current timeline. If Pal is a golden, he’s tiny, aka, that boy got a lot of growing to do. He’d be young enough to have a playful relationship with Killer, but it’d be more of a puppy/dog relationship where Pal needs a nurturing figure to learn from.
As for puppies, most people are all for spaying/neutering because it’s a necessity in many areas. In my area, unwanted dogs and cats are everywhere, and free programs are offered to help fix your pet if you can’t afford it yourself. And seeing that unwanted puppies/kittens don’t usually fit in the budget…let’s just say I’ve seen some horrible things in how people get rid of them. That being said, I doubt Pal would go unfixed, and I feel like Killer would already be fixed otherwise she would’ve shown up with a whole pack of pups (to which Thora would’ve grimaced at I’m sure). So, I doubt puppies would ever be in the picture, but I’d love to see these two as BFF’s/lovers.
Probability of getting together: 90/10. I’m not going all out because there are obstacles here, that and I think you’re still in the minority TUC. But I think these two have a better chance than most couples because humans are complicated.
Probability of staying together: 100%, no brainer. Until death do they part, I don’t see these two straying away once they’re in a relationship. Dogs are just that loyal, and who else is going to interfere? I doubt there could ever be a Killer x Amigo or Pal x Amigo or whoever the hell else they’ve added in lately. These two would be loyal for life with zero interference.
DW x Tibble/ Emily x Tibble
Alright, shifting gears to the next generation. We all know these four are in preschool together, but what happens when they’re in middle and high school together? Could these girls fall for their bullies or vice versa?
I don’t know what to think here, namely because twins are just too hard. I think I started a piece that dabbled in this but it went nowhere. I mean, who would date who? Would DW date Timmy, Tommy? I mean there are just too many variables here, but it’s fun to dabble in. Could the girls end up with them and date them together at the same time? How would it work?
I couldn’t make it work, but I know some people might be able to pull it off. The biggest obstacle here is the twins’ behavior, and that could easily be fixed with more discipline in school, maybe even a sudden change of heart in their grandmother. Once that’s fixed, I can see Emily falling for them once they’re all older. I could see DW fall for them either way honestly. She might want a bully for a boyfriend to keep all dem other bitchez away, you know?
But I’m keeping the probabilities neutral because I have no idea. Personally I tried this once and didn’t like it, but what do you guys think? Is this a viable pairing possibility? Who would date whom? Let me know what you think in the comments.
Ladonna x Arthur
Anyone who knows me knows I don’t dabble in Ladonna ever. I am using her in my current piece, but usually she’s in the background or something in my pieces. I could care less about this character, and as a southerner, I’m actually offended by her at times. I mean, really guys, y’all are going with a generic southern accent instead of a real Cajun accent or something else from where she’s really from? Ugh.
But if you read the episode description for her opening act, you’d think Arthur developed a crush on her as soon as she got there. Could these two work?
Once one gets to know Ladonna, you discover she has some downsides that make her interesting. She seems a little clutzy, and to some she might sound obnoxious, but she’s a decent storyteller who’s quite nice to her friends. Mind you, I could totally see her storytelling becoming a problem for some, but others might like it, especially Arthur. I think he’d like her big family too for whatever reason. I mean, the Compson’s are the only family semi-comparable to the Read’s in size.
As for them being a couple in general, without considering this, I just don’t know. She’s the new kid right now, but what happens when she’s just another kid from Lakewood just like everyone else? And Arthur is probably too beige to come up on Ladonna’s radar right now. He just doesn’t have much to offer her excitement-wise. She’d probably be more content with a guy like Buster who’s into action and cracks jokes.
Probability of them getting together: With that last line in mind, I’d love to give this pairing a 0, but I’ll be generous and try a 30/70. If you can get them together and make it work, sure, this pairing has some viability, but for me, I’m in that 70 group. I just don’t see it, period.
Probability of them staying together: 50/50. Once they get together, I see them fighting to make it work. They come from big families with strong marriages, so I see them wanting to make their relationship last even if there are downsides. But I do see Ladonna growing bored and Arthur growing irritated, so I’m not sure.
Would someone who actually likes Ladonna comment on this part? I think I’m too biased:P
Brain x Lydia
For those of you who don’t know, Lydia is Lydia Fox, a fox character who’s had a few appearances on the show, one of which was fairly recent (something about a beauty pageant? I don’t remember). In her first episode, Lydia shows Brain how to use a wheelchair after he sprains his ankle, and now some people see them as a pairing option.
I don’t know here for obvious reasons. One episode isn’t exactly enough because, like, where did she come from? They obviously have the chance to cross paths again if she was brought up again recently, but to have a relationship, they need more than just longshot encounters around town. They need to at least have some proximity to each other for sparks to fly.
I’ve never toyed with this pairing or seen it toyed with so I don’t know the intricacies. Lydia would probably like Brain because he’s smart and understanding, and Brain would probably like Lydia because she can keep up with him intellectually and give him new topics to discuss as well. Beyond that, I don’t really know what to say. Judging by my boyfriend’s comments to my discussion of my latest project with him, I think he wants a whole Lydia x OC thing where he’s the OC (and in my new project I might have Lydia killed off in the background in order to get reaction from Brain, who’s in love with her. I’m still fleshing out the details, Keith, god, no need to call me a fox killer).
So beyond my current piece, this isn’t a relationship I’ve toyed with but I do see its potential, sort of. Mostly I see them being acquaintances, and unless they cross paths later, that’s it.
Probability of getting together: less than a coin flip but about the same. They either get together if they cross paths or they don’t. It’s that simple.
Probability of them staying together: I’d give them fair chances but I won’t put a number on it. I think they both bring enough to the table for a healthy relationship, but I haven’t toyed with this enough to have a lot to say about it. I like them both enough to say I hope it works, but I also like them both enough to give them better options that don’t involve jumping through hoops to get them together.
I think I’m going to wrap this up here and save other discussions for later. Let me know what you think in the comments, and it’s okay if you disagree. Just remember that while I don’t mind reading your rants, I’d much rather you say something I can respond to. And keep the language similar to what I have above–limited swearing, sexual references not details, etc.
Also, while I don’t mind you suggesting other pairings for us to discuss, I do not do the following: Incest/Twincest, Beastiality (aka Owner x Pet), or underaged pairings (this is more for actual pieces, but don’t suggest some weird Haney x DW when she’s like 10 or something. Like ew, no, why?). Gay/Lesbian pairings are fine, and I’d like to discuss some of the single adults too if you’re all up for it.