It Felt Like A Breakup

When I left the Arthur fandom earlier this year, it felt like I was breaking up with my best friend. Now that I’ve gotten over it, I want to reflect on that time and where I’m going from here.

Looking Back
Breaking up is hard to do. You hear it over and over again, but you don’t really understand the true meaning until you actually go through one. I’ve lost irl friendships and online ones that felt like I’d lost someone, but leaving the Arthur fandom was different. It did feel like a breakup with someone I loved, someone I loved who had too many problems for me to live with. The fandom was still in my life, kind of like if you date a classmate or coworker and you’re stuck seeing them every day, and I was also losing a group of friends too.

So it was gut wrenching. I’ve been writing for Arthur almost solely for years at this point, almost 4 total. Sophomore Sorrows was my biggest piece lifetime, and still is to this day, and I wrote more for Arthur than I’d ever written before, probably 500,000 words or more with tons of pieces. Arthur became my life. I made an effort to watch the show (usually unsuccessfully), and I made an effort to engage with the fandom. I would actually read pieces, and I still try…

But we’ve all had to break up with that place and for some damn good reasons.

It was hard finally deciding to pull the plug when I still had so much contact with people who thought they could help the situation. Like any intervention, if the other party isn’t willing, you have to walk away. So I did, but those first weeks were hard. I had an empty feeling in my chest, and because I was working on some Arthur-related projects, I had to let them go.

All total those of us who left and dumped the fandom broke up with well over 50 people. Between the characters, the people in the fandom we’d gotten to know, and our individual pieces that are now unfinished, that’s how many individuals we left behind, more for some of us mad people like me who write like a banshee riding a bat out of hell. I’ve abandoned projects, but the one thing I’m proud of is Sophomore Sorrows. I wrote and finished it in about 4 months back in 2012, but there we so many chapters that it was taking a long time to post. I finally mass-posted the whole damn thing as a way out.

So my legacy is preserved.

Also I’ve made an effort to try to stay in contact with the people I’ve left behind. They were also deeply affected by this mass exodus from the fandom, so I want to try to stick with them. Plus they’re some of the greatest people I’ve ever met on ff.net, so I can’t leave them behind. I’ll update on the people I know about at the end.

Current Fandom Status
Have you ever watched a medical show or a drama featuring medical things? You know how when someone hooked to a monitor dies and you hear that long annoying BEEEEEEPP!

That is now the Arthur fandom. The person who caused us to leave seems to have realized he ran everyone off, not that it’s obscure. He gets 1 review per chapter from the only person who decided to stick by his side. Everyone else is gone. We don’t flame anymore, we don’t attempt private contact, and we’ve left our forums to rot. Any efforts to kick him out are done. We failed and now we’re moving on to new things.

Ironically his pieces seem to have gone back to how he was, themed but not as *retches, hurls up every meal I’ve ever eaten*. He’s moved on to disabilities, which I honestly find offensive, but he found encouragement in the Rugrats fandom from an ancient piece he dug up where everyone is disabled and now he has a new tangent.

Good for him. I’m that over it and I honestly don’t care anymore.

Current Projects
At this moment I’m wrapping up participation in NaNoWriMo. This and my attempt at doing a million words this year has been deeply affected by our breakup with the Arthur fandom. I’ll do good to write 75k for NaNo, which is sad considering this year is the first time I’m not having to balance my creative writing with school assignments. I’ve had plenty of time to write, but I took it slow because I’ve gone original this go ’round and that takes me a little longer, namely because it makes me nervous to be doing something.

I’ve got some ideas and I fully intend to reach that 1 million word goal for the year, but I really miss being able to write for Arthur. I’m still looking for something else, but I’m off ff.net right now because I can’t deal right now. As anyone who’s gone through a real breakup with a person knows (or anyone who’s kicked an addiction knows), you have to separate yourself from what you’ve had to leave behind. I’ve done that, but now? We’ll see.

The Future
I would love to go back to the Arthur fandom in the future and more or less start over. I want to work with my old friends again and continue some pieces I had to scrap. I still have plenty left that’s finished but not posted, so I could do that too.

But I’m trying to work on original ideas, something I could maybe use in a professional sense. I’m growing older and I need a full-time thing. I want to fall in love again with a new thing, but I won’t know if I can do that until I try.

Updates
At this current moment, here’s how we’re doing:

• I’m writing and doing okay considering.
• TheUltimateCombo is trying some things. He attempted NaNo with me but didn’t have as much luck, but he’s learning (I don’t think I’ve told him I didn’t even do NaNo my second year because I wasn’t feeling it. I should do that). He’s got some amazing ideas lined up, and I hope to see him in bookstores in the future, you know, if those are still a thing.
• DM#’s I have less contact with, but he also tried NaNo and seems to have found some success. I need to check in with him, but he’s working on redoing some older projects for Power Rangers. He too wants to keep going with Arthur, but he’s probably where I am: You want to finish but you’re worried about how it’ll be received. We’re getting by.
• TimmyTurnerFan is doing his own thing, mostly art, photography, and culinary arts. He’s namely on deviantArt right now and appreciates his privacy. I won’t say anything more here but he seems to be doing okay.
• JC Rose left before a lot of us for personal reasons. She’s got her own issues, but I recently contacted her because of the earthquake in New Zealand. She moved to Britain and back since a lot of the others talked with her, and she’s gone through a lot personally, but she’s doing okay. I doubt she’s writing, since mothers of young children can barely sleep and get their washing done, let alone crank out some pieces, but she’s getting by, and that’s all that matters.

The others I’ve talked to are okay, but they’ve decided to focus on their own lives and projects. They know that doing anything against our enemy is fruitless. Some of us have done research on him (aka Pro Tip: Don’t use your name on the internet because people will Google you if you piss them off enough), and we found him to be sad more than anything else. That actually helped with some closure too, but some of us are still working towards that. I honestly think that as long as he’s there, the fandom won’t recover, but we’ll just have to see.

If anyone wants more info about my projects, let me know. If you want to know about who we’re talking about or what we found in our research, please contact me privately.

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2 Comments

  1. Hey.

    I know how the feeling goes. It is sad. I still do go on other fandoms. Besides that, I’ve been busy with work, friends, and acting class to name a few. If you ever feel down at all, if you want, you can talk to me. Even though the devil ruined that fandom, I do at least try to move on. I still wish you the best. Be sure to follow your goals and dreams. I am confident that you will secede and have a great, fantastic life. If you do want to talk, I’ll do my best to help out.

    Sincerely,

    SPIDEYMANIAC

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  2. Hey Chrys!

    I actually read this a good while ago, but I had some other stuff to deal with.

    I just wanna pop up and say thanks for all the times we had online. I never thought I would meet other Arthur fans, let alone from another country. I really hope that the new year will see our return in any form back to the fandom.

    So, have a happy new year, and do share with us more ideas for your stories 🙂

    Like

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